The Secrets to Having a Successful Threesome, According to People Who've Done It

"Honestly, threesomes for me have been about getting to enjoy another woman with 

the woman I love."

If you’re wondering if a threesome is for you, you’re certainly not alone. Group sex is the most common sexual fantasy among Americans, according to a study conducted by Justin Lehmiller Ph.D., Men's Health advisory board member and research fellow at the Kinsey Institute. Men especially fantasize about sex involving multiple people.

Studies show that about 10% of women and 18% of men report having participated in a threesome. If you’re looking to add yourself to that lucky group of individuals who get to make their fantasies a reality, here are some things to consider. We polled sex experts and regular people who've had a three-way on every aspect of how to have a threesome.

Why do people love threesomes?

“Honestly, threesomes for me have been about getting to enjoy another woman with the woman I love. It’s the experience with my partner that I enjoy the most. On a side note, the opportunity to be inside multiple women in the same night is an ego boost. Just keeping it real.” –Rafa, 34, San Diego

“I think there’s something special about intimacy with multiple people at the same time. I don’t even think it’s about fantasy fulfillment, it’s more just getting the opportunity to enjoy loving two people like that at once.” —Spencer*, 21, Quebec

“You can get really creative in group sex situations thinking of new positions to try, taking turns to focus on one person, etc. I like that the sex doesn’t stop even if one person taps out briefly to have a drink of water or just sit and watch the other two. It’s a constant dynamic process that you just don’t get in 1-1 sex.” –L*, 22, UK

What are the logistics of having a threesome?

There are so many ways to pursue and have a threesome, so you’re going to have to really think about what you want. Here are some questions to think about: